Lately I’ve been thinking a lot what kind of relationship I would like to have with food. As a child my mom was responsible for cooking. I feel our family’s eating habits were pretty normative and we ate pretty much everything what our society considered to be a “normal” diet: meat, fish, bread, fruits, cereals, pudding, veggies, coffee, milk, yoghurt, added sugar etc. Saturdays were the best because it was the day when I got candy. Despite of socially accepted diet I was fat. As a teenager I started some kind of binge eating. Every day after school I went to a super market and bought candy. I was paranoid of not letting anyone I knew to see me. I was also so embarrased of my behaviour that I went to different shop every day as I didn’t want same salesperson to see me buying all that stuff everyday. I also started to exercise six times a week but my body stayed the same.
First years at the University were great. I got new friends and were active member of different sutdent associations (but not that active at actual studying..). Eating didn’t give me that much guilt feelings and I ate like many other students: students lunches at Uni and something cheap at home. And then I fell ill. My chronic disease (which I had no idea) got worse and I got a proper diagnose. I’ve had some really bad years with my disease but getting diagnosed might still be the best thing what have happened to me. Nowadays I try not to be so harst to myself. I understand I have made bad choices which have affected to my health but I have also always been ill which has been a huge factor to my health and size too.
My ultimate goal is to get to a state where food is only fuel to my body. I wish I wouldn’t mind eating plain chicken and broccoli every day but unfortunately I do. I need variety, different flavours and something sweet. I don’t want to need any of them. Food has gotten so much more of my time, thoughts and energy than it deserve. Even though I’m not (yet) a food minimalistic I do have some food related rules which I try to follow:
- Regular eating
- More proteins, less carbs
- Avoid added sugar
- Every meal is a proper meal. I don’t have spesific food for breakfast, snacks, lunch etc. It’s ok to eat meat 9am!
- Veggies every day
- Prefer organic food
Lately enjoyed treats.